When we love, we are opening the door to wonderful, literally a world full of wonder.
When we see love as the will to nurture one's own or another's growth, revealed through acts of care, respect, knowing, and assuming responsibility, the foundation of all love in our life is the same. There is no special love exclusively reserved for romantic partners. Genuine love is the foundation of our engagement with ourselves, with family, with friends, with partners, with everyone we choose to love…
But some struggle to find this path to love because they carry the wounds of the past.
The wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by paternal sadism, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings. The wounded child inside many females is a girl who was taught from early childhood that she must become something other than herself, deny her true feelings, in order to attract and please others…
Schools for love do not exist. Everyone assumes that we will know how to love instinctively, and despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we still accept that the family is the primary school for love. Those of us who do not learn how to love among family are expected to experience love in romantic relationships, however, this love often eludes us…
The word "love" is most often defined as a noun, yet all the more astute theorists of love acknowledge that we would all love better if we used it as a verb.
Cornel West said that justice is what love looks like in public, and one way to think of humanism is as a commitment to living love as a verb, in public, seeking to transform the world into one of justice. I believe in the power of humanity to transform the world and to build the Beloved Community envisioned by Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and others.
Humanism builds community by centering Ten Commitments.
The first commitment is critical thinking. Being able to evaluate information or to ask questions is a skill, and we need to keep building it throughout our lives.
The second commitment is Ethical Development. The first step of this step is to remember that no human is perfect or has all the answers.
Third, Humanists have a strong commitment to achieving social justice and affirming the value and worth of every person, which they believe is the road to world peace for all of humanity. Humanists are committed to repairing harms and building equity (removal of all barriers for all people) for all. The beauty of this commitment is that we can all have different goals, and that widening circle of concern as we each attend to our commitments and purposes, each responding to differing needs of the world.
Fourth, is a commitment to serve to fulfill the needs of the world.
Fifth is empathy, and sixth is humility.
Seven is environmentalism. We have one home – the earth.
Commitment eight is an intent to seek the stories and knowledge of many.
Nine is responsibility to claiming your mistakes, making amends to those harmed, and to be accountable.
Finally, humanists are committed to altruism, or the selfless concern for the welfare of all other people. It is a commitment to end suffering. Caring for others allows us to be cared for by others, because we form the nearly unbreakable bond of community. No one teaches us how to love. We must watch others and learn from observation. We will all get our hearts broken at least once, even if that once is not romantic. But there is one lesson to know of love. It is messy, because we are all flawed human animals, and we each hurt and have been hurt. Hurt might hide the love for a while, but since love is a form of energy, it never fully dissipates.